Judges 11-12 / John 1:1-28 / Psalm 101 / Proverbs 14:13-14
Once again the Kear family is remembering someone we love. Today would have been our son-in-law Bradley’s 28th birthday. Instead of us spending this time together celebrating, Bradley is enjoying Heaven. We miss him terribly, but we’re thankful his pain has disappeared.
I’ve talked some about grief, having lost several of the men in my life – my brother, my dad, my brother-in-law and now my son-in-law. I think we grieve well as a family. We’re not the type of family that sweeps our grief under the carpet pretending it doesn’t exist. I believe we give it the weight and time it deserves.
Proverbs 14:13 – laughter can conceal a heavy heart, but when the laughter ends, the grief remains.
Some people say “you should be past that by now” – or some such unthinking statement like it. No one can tell another person either how long or in what manner they ought to grieve. Yes, at some point, the grief must be set aside, and life must be lived with hope and joy, but who’s to say when that time has come? It varies with each situation.
I remember with my dad that after the 4th year of grieving, the Lord told me it was time to put my grief aside. I’m not saying I don’t miss him terribly, but the waves of overwhelming grief have lifted. When God spoke to me that day, He brought a gift of healing. God’s voice has a way of causing a shift to happen. I’m thankful to have heard God and to have moved into a different season of missing my dad.
And I know we’ll do the same with Bradley. I remember his laugh because it made everyone around laugh with him. His laugh was big and loud, and it still makes me smile thinking about it! Even though he carried great pain, I know he had times of joy. But I wonder if he sometimes concealed his heavy heart with laughter. I’m sure he did.
I’m thankful God saw his heart and that all the hurt is now healed. I will never understand why Bradley left us, but I’m thankful he’s seeing the face of Jesus, who loves him so much. And he’s experiencing a reunion with his family who had trusted in Christ. I’m kind of excited to see my loved ones again one day.
So, the next time you’re in the presence of someone you love who is experiencing grief, please don’t “rush” them. Please be kind, gentle and understanding. Words can be few – “I’m sorry” is so comforting. Maybe a hug, a smile, or sharing a memory of the loved one who is gone would be helpful. In grief, small gestures mean so much.
