2 Kings 23:31-25:30 / Acts 22:17-23:10 / Psalm 2 / Proverbs 18:13
Since I love to talk, I’ve had to work hard to become a better listener. I’m not saying I’m good at it, but I’m working to improve! In my excitement, I sometimes still interrupt or talk over top of another. I don’t always listen well, trying to construct what I want to say next. However, I do earnestly love listening to another’s story. People are fascinating and their experiences are so diverse.
So, when I read Proverbs 18:13 I was reminded yet again to continue working on being a good listener. The verse states – Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.
If I’m not listening, when I have a chance to give input I may not answer in a relative manner. The question becomes, “Do I want to talk to be heard, or do I want to offer value to the one listening?” Some are better at that than others. There are times I’m afraid I’ll forget what I was going to say. There are also times when it’s better to simply listen, allowing the other person to process and come to their own conclusions.
I’ve found that there are times input is valuable, and times when silence is what’s best. I enjoy what I call verbal processing, meaning I learn as I speak. It’s as if hearing the words out loud help me come to a proper conclusion. Some learn by asking good questions. Some learn by listening and pondering to themselves.
If you’re a verbal processor, you know my pain. It’s hard to be quiet! I’m also a kinesthetic learner, one who appreciates being hands-on, so being quiet and not actively participating in a discussion causes me to sometimes get lost in the conversation.
I like to use my hands and sometimes I get excited, and my volume goes up… BUT when it comes to a proper response in the situation, if I don’t have a full and proper picture, I will not give input that is helpful. The verse says speaking out of turn is foolish and shameful. What is foolish and what is shameful? Let’s look!
For these two words, I’m looking at the Merriam Webster online dictionary. Foolish means lacking good sense, good judgment, or discretion. It can also mean insignificant, meaning my input will have no value if I have not listened first.
Shameful, or shame, means a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety. And don’t you feel that way when you’ve spoken out of turn or out of context?
I also think of Proverbs 17:28 which statesEven fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.
And now we’ve come to a personal dilemma because it is so hard to do this! Of course, that’s assuming I’m a fool, and I’m not. That said, there is value in keeping silent at times.
My son-in-law, Josh, is excellent at observing and listening, then when he speaks, his words bring such wisdom and weight. There are times I wish I were more like Josh. But then the Lord reminds me that He made each of us the way He did for a purpose. Then I’m back to enjoying the quiet wisdom of Josh, along with the exuberant input of myself and some of my other talkative friends.
I had a friend recently ask how she could become better at not interrupting. Before I answered I had to laugh that she was asking ME a question like that. But I do have some tips. First, take notes as you listen, then if you have a response, you’ll remember it. Second, take mental note that you do not always need to have a response. And third, don’t listen with the intent of responding. If you forget your point or your response after you’ve listened well, perhaps the Lord would rather you not make the point.
Cheers to the talkers and cheers to the observers. We both have value and I encourage you to keep being you!
