2 Chronicles 35-36 / 1 Corinthians 1:1-17 / Psalm 27:1-6 / Proverbs 20:20-21
Sometimes we get to grow up and be best friends with our parents, and sometimes we never do see eye to eye no matter how hard we try. Mutual respect is good if possible. My parents were raised in a generation where kids were meant to remain “kids” and the close friendship didn’t seem like a possibility. My mom was raised with a Quaker background where children were seen and not heard. I did manage to be friends with my dad, but with my mom it is a harder journey.
My heart has always been that my family would be my favorite friends. Jeff is my best friend, and I really wanted our children to grow into friends. I believe our hard work together has created that as best we can. My adult children and I don’t see the world the same in every area but then again, who does. I assert we don’t have to see things the same to love and be kind to one another, even with differing views. These are, after all, my primary important relationships.
At some point I began calling Jeff, Matthew, Katherine, Abigail, and I “The 5 Family”. We are the core of what comes after. I have a son-in-law who I adore and two grandbabies who are my world. I’m extremely blessed.
Even though my parents and I had a difficult time of relating, I was taught to respect and honor them. If you had horrible or abusive parents, that is certainly harder, and I’m sorry you suffered in that way. It’s hard to respect someone who misuses you. However, I’ve learned to respect and of course love, my parents. They had situations in their childhoods that caused them to be the adults they are and were. I believe I must have understanding for that.
All that said, there are times we read something in scripture that seems harsh. Today, I read Proverbs 20:20 and thought I had better take a closer look. As I considered taking that closer look, I thought it wise to reflect on my own experiences with my parents. The verse states, “If you insult your father or mother, your light will be snuffed out in total darkness.”
That’s blunt. Did you also notice there were no qualifications on whether they were a good or bad parent? “Insult” in the Hebrew is Qalal (kaw-lal) and it means to make light of or to show contempt (hatred) toward.
What does it mean that his light will be snuffed out? It sounds like one of those old movies when they said, “lights out” and they meant they were going to put a hit out to kill someone. But that’s not what this means.
When I looked at the word “light” in Hebrew the word was nir (neer) and was a noun that referred to a lamp, or that by which one sees. What I conclude from this is that if we choose to treat our parents with contempt, we will no longer be able to see Truth. We will be blinded, lost, confused, and wandering.
Since God does not treat us according to what our sins deserve (Psalm 103:10), shouldn’t we offer the same courtesy, love, and kindness to others, especially to our family?
Again, I understand that if your parents were abusive this is a hard verse to reconcile. But if you’re in Christ, I encourage you to sit with the two truths before you and see what God might say.
We’ve talked before about how forgiveness is for us, not necessarily for the other person. I believe this verse is the same. Truth is for the hearer or the one being confronted with it. If you listen and follow the path of that Truth, you will be the one who benefits. The other person will gain nothing until they are also face-to-face with Truth.
We have a choice. Read this Truth and walk away or read this Truth and ask God what is there for us. I’m reading and asking. What about you?
